Don't Let Me Go
by ellaturner1234
Summary: I waited for his apology, I always waited, but I only heard the sound of the front door slamming as he walked out once more. One-Shot. Rated M for some language. Please Review!


I didn't cry. When he left in the middle of the night, when he packed up his things and walked out the door when he thought I was sleeping, I didn't cry. I didn't even 'wake up' and beg him to stay. I didn't do anything. I just laid on my side, turned away from him, hands underneath my chin, eyes closed, and listened. I listened to the shift of the bed as he stood up. I listened to the creak of his footsteps on the floorboards. I listened to the sound of his clothes sliding against his skin. I listened to the opening of his duffel bag and the rustling of his clothes being packed. I waited for his apology, I always waited, but I only heard the sound of the front door slamming as he walked out once more. Not once did I shed a tear. I guess I was so used to him disappearing, it didn't faze me anymore. That was when I knew things had to change.

I listened to the sound of his gruff hello and I almost forgot to speak. Almost forgot why I was calling, but then I heard a faint female voice in the background, high pitched and nasally, and I knew why. It all rushed back. I leaned back against the kitchen counter and gripped the cell phone tighter before whispering, "Hello, Dean."

There was a silence. I had surprised him. He never expected me to call. I never had in the past. There was an unspoken rule between us. I never called him, he never called me. I never questioned it. Not until now. He just showed up at my place whenever he wanted too. I look back now and wonder why I even started this thing with him. See? I don't even know what I have with him. Am I his girlfriend or just a girl he can fuck whenever he wants to? Is he serious about me or am I just another one of his many girls he leads on? I don't know.

"How'd you get my number?" I heard confusion in his voice.

"From Sam." _Do you even know how embarrassing it was asking the brother of the man I have sex with on a semi regular basis for your _number? _Your brother thought I was joking. _"I called because I don't know when you'll be back…" A pause. "…and there's something I have to tell you. And it can't wait."

The silence was deafening. I had actually thought he had hung up and just as I was about to look at my cell phone to make sure he hadn't I heard a, "Don't tell me your pregnant." You know, that wouldn't have made me sad if he wouldn't have had said it like he said it on a regular basis. Like that phrase was common for him. Like women called him almost regularly with pregnancy scares, positive if the white stick turned pink or two lines showed up, he would be the father. And that made me sad.

I knew Dean Winchester was what some would call a man whore. Before he met me, god even _when_ he was sleeping with me, he was probably having sex with anything that was blonde and opened their legs when he flashed a smile their way. I was an exception though. I'm not sure why. I wasn't blonde, wasn't curvy, my legs didn't go on for miles, didn't have a big ass… I wasn't Dean's type. I couldn't flirt, couldn't seduce someone. Why at that bar three months ago he picked me out I will never know. Why he choose me to be one of his… many whores I will never know. And I'm not sure I want to find out.

I swallowed hard and gripped the edge of the counter until pain radiated throughout my palm. "No." I could've sworn I heard him breathe a sigh of relief. "I'm walking away, Dean."

"What?" The female voice in the background made itself heard by a giggle. I could vaguely hear someone tell it to be quiet. "What do you mean _you're walking away_?"

I almost laughed at the disbelief in his voice. Had he really expected me to stay and pine away after him forever? Sure it has been three months and in those three months I will admit I may have implied I _would _wait for him forever… he and his other hoes most likely laughed later. But he had to have known that this would all come to an end one day, no matter what I said no matter how I acted no matter how I felt this had to end. Nothing lasts forever. I'm actually surprised we've lasted this long. After the first time we had sex, after he disappeared, and I heard about his reputation I figured I would never see him again. Then he came back four days later. And three days after that.

But deep down a voice kept telling me that this would one day end. Whether he would leave one night and never come back, or I would have to make the decision and break the news myself. Three months passed by and that voice got quieter and quieter until it was just a whisper. But when I realized I didn't feel a thing anymore when he left, I didn't feel scared or sad or angry, that voice got louder. And here I am.

"I'm not going to be your fuck buddy anymore." It was better to be blunt. Yeah the truth hurt, but he had to hear it. "I'm tired of this. I'm tired of you. I'm tired of waking up alone, not knowing where you are, if your safe, if your even _alive. _I hate that I couldn't even goddamn _call _you… Yeah I know hunting the supernatural comes with a price. I know that being serious with a girl can get her killed. That's why after you have sex with a girl you leave and never come back. You don't want to become attached. You don't want to put another innocent person in danger and you don't want to lose another person you care about. But for the _love of god Dean. _Why did you come back? After the first time you should've left. You never should have returned…. Hell we never should have lasted three months. Because even though you don't care about me, to you I'm just another pretty girl you can fuck whenever you damn well please, I have feelings. And I'm tired of being treated like this…. I don't deserve this. So I'm stopping this, now. This is the last time you'll ever hear from me."

"Wait-"

"Goodbye Dean." I didn't wait to hear him respond, just hung up and clutched the phone to my chest, sliding down until I was sitting on the floor, back against the cabinets. And I cried. Yeah it hurt. And it would for a while. But in the end, I would realize I was better off this way. But for now...I would cry.


End file.
